I’ve been analyzing a few of the dreams I often had as a child. There are three that come to mind, one about a dinosaur chasing my mother and I, another about driving with her in a vehicle, and one about wolves hunting me every time I tried to step outside of my house.
I want to talk about the second one. In this dream, my mom is driving her car and she stops at the top of a hill and parks. She gets out, leaving the door open, and walks around to the rear of the vehicle, looking around for something. Suddenly, the car begins to roll forward down the hill. As I’m looking back crying and screaming, my mom is running after me, but it’s too late. I’m forced to take control of the wheel without any clue of how to drive.
Looking back, I’m pretty sure I had this dream around the time that my mom lost custody of me as a little girl. She couldn’t take care of me. My grandparents were forced to take over.
I know this is a little depressing, but it does make a lot of sense now. Funny, how dreams work.
There is magic in long-distance friendships. They let you relate to other human beings in a way that goes beyond being physically together and is often more profound.
The beginning was frightful, especially with seeing shadow figures and having nightmarish hallucinations. I still see these things at times, but they no longer frighten me. I know they’re only projections of my mind and that they can actually be useful in helping me confront my fears and increase my awareness. If I see projections of a skull, for instance, I take that as a call to change my course of action.
I’ve also come to realize that I can manipulate and control these projections at will through meditation.
Lately, the wolf has been popping up a lot. Tonight, as I was on my nightly adventure through random sections of the town, I came across an old container of chewing tobacco that had a wolf on it. I did some tuning in and meditation on this symbol. Once I reached the high school and sat down on a bench for a short rest, I began to contemplate the various aspects of a wolf until the image of a wolf appeared before me. I allowed this image to overtake me and the next thing I knew, I was sprinting.
Mind you, I never run, which has to do with humiliating childhood memories or something. Swimming? No problem. I used to swim miles every day back in high school. But running? Nuh uh. Well, tonight I did some running and it felt good. This is something I have been fearful of doing for who knows what reason, but at the same time, I’ve been wanting to up my level of physical activity.
It’s intriguing… The way you can complete new endeavors simply by altering your mind’s focus. No drugs even needed!
Warning
Bat your eyes girl, be otherworldly, count your blessings, seduce a stranger. What’s so wrong with being happy? Kudos to those who see through sickness.
When she woke in the morning she knew that her life had passed her by. And she called out a warning, “Don’t ever let life pass you by.”
I suggest we learn to love ourselves before it’s made illegal. When will we learn? When will we change? Just in time to see it all fall down. Those left standing… will make millions… writing books on the way it should have been.
Floating in this cosmic jacuzzi we are like frogs oblivious to the water starting to boil. No one flinches, we all float face down.
Every night. Not all bad.
Never waste your time trying to explain who you are to people who are committed to misunderstanding you.
